Poem

I'm the floor in the lodge.

I made myself,

but I can't breathe.

I struggle to see out the window,

but there isn't one.

I wear expensive stitches

with saying threads;

they overwhelm me,

heavy like an oriental rug,

because they aren't there.

My tongue is a cage.

My jaw is twisted shut,

too tight for my face.

When I try to open it,

snakes crawl out,

not what some people think.

But today I got a letter.

It wasn't real.

It tore itself open.

It played a game with me,

made me dizzy, and my jaw

broke the screws.

No words came, no wind or walking sky.

The cage is made of floorboards,

but I'm not trapped.

-Candace Osterhout

The Story of how my Friend Abandoned me for MN.

The title makes me sound like I'm mad.  I'm not, just a little crazy.  But my friend?  She's another story.  She actually LIKES Minesota.  That is the true indicator of insanity.

Allow me to explain in very exaggerated story.

Once upon a time, there was an artistic fairy named Candace.  She was artistic in every way accept when it came to music, but that is beside the point.  There was one thing Candace really needed- a friend that was just as artistic as she was, at least when it came to writing.
And enter E J Elliot.  E J was also artistic.  They became best friends, as it goes in every friendship drama.
Alas.  It would last forever.  E J was from MN, and she missed it dearly.  Well, one day, she decided to move back to MN.  And the rest, as they say, is history.

So.  Now to my rant about MN.  Here are some things I have against it:
1. MN stole my best friend.
2. MN is boring.  All it does is snow.  Compared to OK, it is very dull.  OK has everything, guys.  Tropical storms, tornadoes, snow, hail, ice, earthquakes.  MN is nothing in the adventure department.
3. MN is cold.
4. MN is near Canada.  Enough said.
5. MN is not OK.
And 6.  MN is MN.  And MN, like I already said, stole my best friend.

I need your guys' help.  I am ready to take this issue to Washington.  If you believe, like I do, that the USA would be better with 49 states, join me in the fight to subtract MN from the equation.

I'm Candace Osterhout, and I approve this message.

Thank you.