Introduction comes before Conclusion (unless it's alphabetical)

My friend started a blog, and I laughed at her.
Sorry, but it's true.
Then I realized that she was actually keeping up with it.  So I thought:  I'll show her.  I'll make my own blog.
And so I bring you: The Absolutely True Story of a Traumatic Blogging Accident, because let's face it, if anyone is reading this right now, they're probably wondering why, and that is why it is an accident.  And if they (as in you, dear reader, O' Great Mighty One of I was Bored and Found this Blog)  are not wondering why they're reading this, then that means they know me personally and are being very polite at this moment.
So I thank you.
But not sincerely.
Anyway, this is an introduction, after all, so I better introduce something.
Of course, I did just introduce the blog.
No matter.  I'll move on to myself.
Guys, just kidding, there's a "visit complete profile" button right there.  \/ Just look down.
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Not that far down, you weirdo.
Okaaay, you aren't a weirdo.  You're just reading a weirdo's blog (and enjoying it, maybe?).  Actually, I prefer freak over weirdo, and would quite enjoy it if you attached "anime" onto the front of that.  Thank you.

That's all.  Please keep all hands, arms, legs, elbows, feet, extra apendages, skin, hair, eyes, ears, brain (if you really think you still have one at this point), and teeth at the computer at all times.  And please do not explode.  I can't cover that.

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*insert name here*